You're my little dorito
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
