sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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