if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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