There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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