I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
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