I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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