Got a toothbrush?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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