Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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