Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
