Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Randomize
