yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
