I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
