I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
