Pants 0. Shit 1.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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