isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
