I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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