you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
