It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize