people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The air was thick with penises
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
