How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
