this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
