they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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