i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Randomize
