Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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