I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
