Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
