to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
