Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
