That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
