what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
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