he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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