No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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