Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
