So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize