i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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