is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
