I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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