I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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