letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
