Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Too much gin, very little bucket
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
