every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
