Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
