Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Found your dick twin last night
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Randomize
