Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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