I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
