we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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