So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
