that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Green mimosas i think yes
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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