love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
