I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Pappa wants mamma naked
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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