yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
