nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
