This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize