Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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