i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
