Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
