we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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