I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
