At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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